Christians really ought to strive to be tactful people. We ought to be full of good sense and good judgment. Knowing the right thing to say at the right moment, and equally as important—if not more important—is knowing when it is just time to listen. Not every situation or predicament requires an answer from us—or an illustration of when a similar thing happened to us or to someone we know. I’ve often wondered why people feel it necessary to change the focus off the person who is experiencing trouble, sickness, or even heartache, only to shine the spotlight on themselves. For example, I have noted this sort of thing happens quite often during hospital visits (of which I have had my share.) Typically, the patient is wearing pajamas and already feeling pretty uncomfortable because a dozen or so visitors have squeezed themselves into the tiny room and encircled the patient’s bed. Someone always asks how the patient is feeling and then it starts. Let’s say the person has just had a baby. There are just some women who do not think anyone else had it “as rough as they did” in the delivery room. Before the poor patient speaks one sentence, another woman will turn to the other eleven visitors and begin to recount her own experience. (And can someone please explain to me where discretion goes at a time like this? I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been in mixed company and some loose-tongued woman starts telling the whole room about how far she dilated before she delivered! Hellooooooo! There are some of us who prefer to keep that topic to ourselves, thank you. And we would prefer it if you would, too!)
I’ve seen some poor souls who are truly suffering, either physically or emotionally, become trapped by someone who doesn’t have enough spiritual sense to just listen or sympathize. So on and on they’ll ramble about how they’ve been through the same thing. Or, they attempt to trivialize the whole thing, as if it was no big deal whatsoever.
Surely you and I know quite well what it feels like to be afraid or overwhelmed. Or when it seems that your whole world is about to fall apart. Or when the darkness is so thick, you fear to take the next step. Good, spiritual Christian friends are absolutely priceless at times like these. People need to be strengthened, encouraged, and exhorted. They don’t need to hear about all that’s happened to you or your great aunt’s sister-in-law. When women are hurting, they need someone to pray with them, not preach at them. An arm around the shoulder, a listening ear, and closed lips just may be the most valuable thing we can offer at times.
Oh for Christian women who are full of the Spirit of God and know that, “a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
