Tips on Tact
Now that the summer has finally arrived and the kids have their much anticipated summer vacations, there will probably be times when you decide to get together with some other ladies in the church so that your children can spend some time together. My husband and I love it when we see the different families in our church getting together and fellowshipping one with another. It’s a great sign of unity and does wonders to draw brothers and sisters in Christ closer. As we develop close friendships within the church, we should always be conscientious to be very considerate of our friends and be mindful to never take advantage of them. For example, it seems every church has at least a few families who are so very generous and giving. They will offer their home for anything, do anything for anyone, throw big parties and ask for nothing in return. But I think as Christians we ought always to be thinking of a way to return. Let’s start with the very basic of all things-may I speak plainly? A,” Thank you for you kindness and generosity” is a good beginning. Another way to show our appreciation is to not let our children run around the host’s house like banshees. Do not allow them to be unsupervised. But, you say, I’m going there to relax and have a good time-I can’t do that and watch my kids too! But let’s think like Christians here-we are supposed to esteem others better than ourselves, true? How can you be esteeming Bro. and sister Big Hearted if you are out sipping an iced tea by the barbeque while your son is ripping through the house in search of the Big Heart’s kid’s rooms and their toys. And please, please don’t tell me that Bro. Big Heart never minds if your kids are wild. Don’t tell me it doesn’t hurt him a little to go through his beautiful house after a party and survey the wake your little Junior left behind. Of course it’s hurtful. He’s just too good hearted to let you know. When your stomach is so full you can’t even look at another thing to eat, it may suddenly occur to you, that you brought one or several children with you to the party. Children whom you have not seen for three or four hours. You go over to the staircase and holler their names. After a few minutes, the little darlings appear, looking like they just got back from auditioning for the part of a “street urchin” in some British film. Of course, they do not want to leave. What child would want to give up all the freedom they’ve experienced for the past few hours? So now they’re going to do what they always do-because no one has ever instructed them not to do this-they are going to put both you and your gracious, exhausted hosts on the spot and shamelessly ask if they can sleep over! Please, before you give the host that sheepish, big eyed look that says, “Well it’s o.k. with me if it’s o.k. with Bro. Big Heart here…” Establish beforehand with your children that this is not acceptable. It is rude. Let them know that if they try it, there will be consequences-the kind of consequences children would rather avoid. We instructed our children this way and after just a few instances when they tried us to see if we were in our right minds when we inaugurated this rule- and we always were-they never, ever asked again. Amazing.
Good friends are considerate. Good Christian friends are Christ like. I hope we will make this a lovely summer for all of our friends by considering that Christ like, selfless life which makes it a pleasure for others to be in our company.
