The etiquette of conversation is perhaps one of the last “arts” to be on its way to extinction. People today talk in “sound-bytes”…a blip here…a bleep there…leaving messages everywhere—on the answering machine, beepers, voice mail boxes, e-mail, cell phones, and maybe even on the refrigerator. We’re more “in touch” than ever before. Now-a-days, there’s no such thing (if you have a cell phone) as a moment’s peace and quiet alone somewhere. There’s nowhere to hide! Someone can always find you and reach you.
Yet, even with this great advancement in technology, conversation—real conversation—is lacking. The word “converse” comes from the root “vers” meaning “to turn.” “Con” mean “with.” So to converse or hold a conversation is to “turn with” the other person. First one person speaks and then the other, in turn.
“Etiquette” is French for “ticket.” Perhaps the etiquette of conversation years ago held the ticket for rising in society—having polite manners and respect for others.
The guidelines that follow illustrate good conversation in Victorian times:
~ Never make yourself the hero of your own story.
~ Be cool, collected, and self-possessed; using respectful, chaste, and appropriate language; none that would bring a blush to others.
~ Do not attempt to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their profits are; what things cost; whether Anna ever had a beau; why Amarette never got married.
~ Never question a servant or child about family matters.
~ Be patient; don’t speak for the person if she cannot perhaps recall the word she desires.
We can all think of occasions when trying to talk to someone that one couldn’t get in a word edgewise! The other person totally dominated the “monologue.” Then there are people who seem to look all around or busy themselves with other things as you are speaking instead of giving their undivided attention. (And yet you looked at her while she was speaking!) If we are to be like Christ, we need to take the time to honestly be interested in what others have to say. We need to listen, and not just hear.
It’s also polite, when speaking with someone, to acknowledge the presence of a third party, waiting politely to enter the conversation. A smile, a gesture, or a turning of your body to “open the circle” to include others is always courteous and welcoming. (Of course the third party should always be sure that the conversation is not confidential!)
The Bible teaches us to use our words to edify and be a blessing to others. When Jesus is first in our lives, “others” will automatically follow in the order of our priorities. And proper priorities are the key to successful Christian living.
When we make it our goal each day to uplift others in our conversation, and use “A word fitly spoken,” it will be as though we are painting “Apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
Yet, even with this great advancement in technology, conversation—real conversation—is lacking. The word “converse” comes from the root “vers” meaning “to turn.” “Con” mean “with.” So to converse or hold a conversation is to “turn with” the other person. First one person speaks and then the other, in turn.
“Etiquette” is French for “ticket.” Perhaps the etiquette of conversation years ago held the ticket for rising in society—having polite manners and respect for others.
The guidelines that follow illustrate good conversation in Victorian times:
~ Never make yourself the hero of your own story.
~ Be cool, collected, and self-possessed; using respectful, chaste, and appropriate language; none that would bring a blush to others.
~ Do not attempt to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their profits are; what things cost; whether Anna ever had a beau; why Amarette never got married.
~ Never question a servant or child about family matters.
~ Be patient; don’t speak for the person if she cannot perhaps recall the word she desires.
We can all think of occasions when trying to talk to someone that one couldn’t get in a word edgewise! The other person totally dominated the “monologue.” Then there are people who seem to look all around or busy themselves with other things as you are speaking instead of giving their undivided attention. (And yet you looked at her while she was speaking!) If we are to be like Christ, we need to take the time to honestly be interested in what others have to say. We need to listen, and not just hear.
It’s also polite, when speaking with someone, to acknowledge the presence of a third party, waiting politely to enter the conversation. A smile, a gesture, or a turning of your body to “open the circle” to include others is always courteous and welcoming. (Of course the third party should always be sure that the conversation is not confidential!)
The Bible teaches us to use our words to edify and be a blessing to others. When Jesus is first in our lives, “others” will automatically follow in the order of our priorities. And proper priorities are the key to successful Christian living.
When we make it our goal each day to uplift others in our conversation, and use “A word fitly spoken,” it will be as though we are painting “Apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
